Dear Asian Women,

Sometimes I wonder how it’s possible for you to be so adorable.  Your smiles are most delightful, and I love how you cover your petite mouth to giggle.  The enchanting melodies of your laughter light the surrounding darkness, while unseen colours from the heart are brought to life.  Your perfume becomes my sweet intoxication as it permeates the air with a twirl of your raven-shine hair.

Even your way of sarcasm is strangely endearing.  You come up with insane activities that any idiot would refuse, but then you threaten to kill me with your arms crossed and a pout.  It is then that your loveliness prevails, and I can’t help but give in.  I’d stir-fry food naked just to see your smiling face.  I get stupid for you at the caress of your gentle kisses.

Your exquisite beauty resembles so much of porcelain dolls with your alabaster skin and finely crafted lips.  I grow a little faint every time I see you.  I feel as if I’m falling off my wheelchair when I look into your deep brown eyes.  They sparkle from within like the bubbles in champagne as I dream into a universe that leads inside your heart.

You’re such a silly piglet, as we say in Cantonese.  You can be so sweet and charming one day and mean the very next.  In frustration, your cuteness remains, but your beautiful heart cries are the saddest I’ve ever seen.  They make me realize why I need to be tortured with Hello Kitty gifts, for you’re really a damsel in distress, looking for a ridiculous boy to make your own.

It saddens me, when you think your eyes aren’t pretty.  Their teardrop contours remind me of your bittersweet grace that makes me fall for you, time and time again.  I’ll continue kissing them ever so softly so you might come to understand how perfect you truly are.

When you wrap your arms around me, the world begins to make sense.  The softness of your hair brushes against my skin, while your elegant fingertips dab upon my neckline.  They seduce my eyes to close as you listen to the rhythm of my heart, beating for you alone.  Your delicate body enfolds my every dream come true.

Dear Asian Women, as you surrender to the inevitable slumber and wiggle your bunny nose, my destiny is finally revealed.  I hope you know I’ll never break your heart, and it’s not because you might set Godzilla loose.

Sweetheart, I don’t want you to be the dried up monkey Mom warned me about.  I always worry you’re not eating enough.  And it’s only because of love that I want to marry you and stuff your face with rice.  I promise to take care of you and make you my little mochi ball forever.