We’ve been fighting this war for the longest time, unbeknownst to the public.  The government issued a nationwide alert for citizens to remain inside their homes, but there is no hope for anyone.  What they didn’t tell you is that the best chance for humanity rests at the hands of patients afflicted with Duchenne muscular dystrophy.  Everyone else is infected.  Somehow, the combination of their mutations and significantly low levels of the dystrophin protein, block the necrosis/reanimation effects of the Z120-b virus, designed to annihilate the original Homo sapiens.  Unless direct contamination is involved, there is no threat.

Our species is on the verge of extinction and we are in a losing battle.  However, for those diagnosed with the aforementioned neuromuscular disease, you already know that losing battles are won through will and determination.  Listen carefully.  While officials are telling us to stay in our houses, I am telling you to keep moving forward before the swarm migrates to your area of residence.  Danger will only escalate on the outside, but the “zombies” have no hope either if their brain stems are detached from the spinal cord.  There are methods of survival available to you for the impending doom:

  1. Obviously, it’s impossible to survive without family, especially when it comes to dismantling an old powered wheelchair. Take out the motor and battery and mount them at the back of your current vehicle, along with the joystick that attaches to your unused armrest.  Screw knives around a wok and weld a metal pipe to the middle.  Put everything together and you’ll have the perfect weapon for epic decapitations.

  2. Your first mission: head to the Ventilator Equipment Pool. Stock up the necessary amount of ventilators and batteries, including circuitry.  Get yourself a sizable truck and relocate to the wheelchair shop for useful parts and tools.  Regroup and take a breather at the specialty medical supplies warehouse.  Let’s hope there won’t be undead traffic!

  3. Along the way, you will encounter places scattered with anti-riot shields. Only three are needed for your wheelchair; one on each side, and another in front.  You should be relatively safe.

  4. Using the bathroom will make you too vulnerable for attacks. Remove your seat pan and cut a toilet hole in it and your cushion (inflatable ones require sealing).  Your butt will be exposed underneath, but what boy doesn’t want his pants off, 24/7?  And when zombies scare the crap out of you, feel free to go on the go.

  5. Electricity is a critical prerequisite and cars are everywhere. Until you find solar panels to mount onto your truck, use their batteries in the meanwhile to recharge your equipment.

  6. Once you do find the solar panels, it’s finally time to be on the move. The truck will suffice as a mobile shelter from now on.  Unfortunately, most houses are not handicapped accessible and you need to stay prepared to jet out of somewhere at any given moment.

  7. Always have a blender nearby! Those with feeding tubes will need it, and liquid diets are a matter of life and death when you’re constantly fleeing the scene.  If you must resort to cannibalism, make sure the person you eat is also diagnosed with Duchenne muscular dystrophy, perhaps a member of the Heaven’s Devils wheelchair gang?

  8. Insist on scavenging with your family. They want you to be safe every step of the way, but with your advanced, homemade weaponry, your protection is imperative.  You will save their lives.  When engaging a herd, drive forward in a series of circles, so not to get too close.  Your automatic umbrella wok knives will take care of everything.

  9. Staying warm is a must, though bulkiness may kill if you’re unable to drive. Find the safest retail store and take all their thermal blankets.  It is feasible to make clothing out of the material with duct tape, which will be incredibly light but insulated.

  10. Your ultimate goal is to reach the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention headquarters in DeKalb County, Georgia. You are our last hope, our cure.  Look alive, brother.

Remember: you’re so much more important than you think.  Under remarkable circumstances, the disabled are usually abandoned.  Our time is now, and we own the responsibility of saving the world.  You own it because you redefine possibility.  If you’re ready for an adventure of a lifetime, you are the Uninfected.  My name is Rick, and I have Duchenne muscular dystrophy.