Have you ever wondered why it hurts so much when love is lost? Romance is to give your heart without fear, but when it breaks, you become confounded with only pieces that remain. Some believe that it’s best to keep yourself preoccupied, but at the end of the day, the hurt still lingers. This is a journey of rediscovery and reassembly… standing tall, even when the world is crumbling before your eyes.
Step One
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Cut all forms of communication. It gives a sense of connection, and getting over requires its removal.
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Rid yourself from physical memories, items that were significant.
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Be ruthless in determination. Make it an instinct by doing what’s necessary without involving your mind with consequences that don’t exist.
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If the phone rings, hang up. If again, do the same. No matter how many times, hang up, or better yet, block. Block all known e-mail addresses. If you receive messages from another account, delete them immediately, emptying the trash altogether. This also goes for social media. Burn snail mail without opening.
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Take action without giving yourself the chance to think.
Step Two
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Think logically. Instead of listening to your heart, listen to your mind. Find reasons and believe them. Write them down.
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Deny yourself hope with the reasons you’ve found and listed. Use them to refocus.
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Stop trying. Choose, because then, there’s a lot less room for backing out.
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Time helps nothing. It only provides opportunities to prioritize. What we choose to do with it makes all the difference.
Step Three
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If you’re unable to eat or sleep, acknowledge the difference between inability and unwillingness. Force yourself to take care of basic needs.
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Take food as you would medication. If you’re eating too much, portion meals and discard junk. If you can’t sleep, close your eyes. If you’re not concentrating, think later.
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Don’t give yourself the luxury of self-pity.
Step Four
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Let yourself cry. Do anything possible to express yourself, through tears, writing, etc. Remember the importance of faith.
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Crying isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s simply another way to express feelings and emotions that overflow. Why not hurt once and for all and be done with it?
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Talk to friends and family members. Allow them to be your support system. There’s no shame in asking.
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Provide yourself the unreturned love. However much it hurts, you’re always your own best friend. Take the initiative.
Being real is a necessity. You can neither erase nor avoid the sorrow. Endure, no matter how impossible, walking through adversity, unafraid. Do whatever it takes and be resourceful with everything you have; the conjured strength and courage. Never let the pain exist in vain because regardless of the source, recovering is your responsibility, and you’re worth every effort. Deal, not because you can or should, but that you must. Remember that closure comes from within. When you’re free from the boundaries of relying on external sources, then and only then will you become more. Loving yourself is a choice.
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