Are you excited about life? I suppose with Duchenne muscular dystrophy, there technically isn’t much to look forward to, especially when you get to a certain age. Though stability exists, there are still times when you awake without knowing what to expect in terms of physical weakness.
As a child, while the symptoms continued bringing me to my knees, I never asked Mom or Dad what was happening. I knew something was wrong and every day could be the last that I set foot on the ground, but didn’t concern myself with something I couldn’t change. I only wanted to keep being a kid no matter how many times I might hurt myself.
People always say you have to live like you are dying, but it’s really about living as if it’s your first day in the world. Gratitude should never be forced. This same attitude gave me the privilege of patting myself on the back once I became wheelchair bound. I knew I fought the best that I could.
Excitement? Losing is inevitable, but being a winner is about focusing on the things you can do, regardless of how big or small. I often open my eyes in the morning, wondering if it was all a nightmares. However, when I realize that I’m alive and breathing after the initial moments, the panic quickly dissipates because I acknowledge the gift of life.
So okay, life is getting much harder and it’s an emotional process. Ignoring the constant suffering has become my motivation because this isn’t a journey, but a destination. I look to the future and am game, for who knows what tomorrow might bring? You either take that leap forward and die knowing you gave your best, or live long enough to regret your existence away.